Have you ever noticed just how unhappy you can get over the fact you
are not happy? Unexamined, this behavior seems to make sense. But a
closer look at it will reveal that being unhappy over being unhappy is
like throwing gasoline on a fire to put it out. You get lots of
fire and smoke - even a strange excitement - but in the end all you are
left with is ashes. This is why you must understand this next amazing
fact.
You can make yourself miserable but you can't make yourself happy.
This shouldn't be too much of a surprise as we begin to learn that
we have been unconscious conspirators in our own unhappy lives.
Even if it wasn't being pointed out, most of us can admit that at times
we do make ourselves miserable. But there is nothing good about
feeling bad. There is never a justification for tolerating
self-misery because what is self-induced can be self-reduced and
ultimately eliminated if you are willing to understand the underlying
causes. This is why we must look at why it is impossible to make
ourselves happy if we ever want to come upon authentic happiness.
Photo by Kathleen
Connally
Outside of drugs and alcohol, which are obviously not the way to
happiness, whenever you want to make yourself happy, you must put forth
an effort of some kind. Effort implies the application of force in a
specific direction. We can see that this is good and necessary in
following preconceived plans for construction projects, business
concerns or cooking, for example. You can also make an effort to
imagine or visualize new shapes and ideas to help in the creative
process. But when it comes to being happy, any effort is the wrong
one. Let's see if this is true. If it is, then we are on the verge
of an even higher discovery: Real happiness is effortless.
Let's find out more about this new possibility.
As we described, where there is an effort, there is, whether known
or not, always a plan. All plans by definition are to build something;
in this instance your plans are to build happiness. With this
preconceived plan, this picture of happiness firmly fixed in your mind,
you meet each of life's events looking for your picture instead
of experiencing what life has brought to you. This painful and
stress-producing process of comparison goes on unknowingly and it
ruins everything it touches. Life becomes a series of
disappointments instead of a series of happy adventures. Please ponder
this next point. You could never be unhappy with anything you found in
this life if you didn't already have it fixed in your mind what you were
looking for.
Image by VladStudio
Hopefully, we can learn from this that our ideas about happiness
are more often than not the very root of our unhappiness. The point here
is that happiness cannot be made. It is not the result of
anything. Happiness comes to those who understand that you can't seek it
any more than you seek the air you breathe. It is a part of life to
be found within living. The excitement of anticipation is not
happiness, any more than smelling freshly-baked bread nourishes a hungry
body. All pursuit of happiness is based upon the false assumption that
happiness can be possessed. It cannot. Happiness is the natural
expression of a stress-free life, just as sunlight naturally warms
the earth after dark clouds disappear.
Excerpted from "The
Secret of Letting Go" by Guy Finley
About the Author
Guy Finley is the acclaimed author of more than 30 books and audio
programs on the subject of self-realization, several of which have
become international best sellers. His popular works, published in 16
languages, are widely endorsed by doctors, professionals, and religious
leaders of all denominations. Among many others, his popular titles
include: The Secret of Letting Go, Design Your Destiny, The Lost Secrets
of Prayer, Apprentice of the Heart, Let Go and Live in the Now, and The
Essential Laws of Fearless Living. Finley is the founder and director
of Life of Learning Foundation, a nonprofit center for self-study
located in Southern Oregon where he gives talks four times each week.
Visit http://www.guyfinley.org
for a wealth of free helpful information, free audio and video
downloads, and to request your free Self-Improvement Starter Kit.
